Here It Comes: La Canicule

Canicule = “heat wave” to you and me. Also vague de chaleur. Either way–much, much hot.

Temps are going to be “dangerously high” this week in Montreal and Ontario: 30C-35C, with humidex values of up to 45.

Translation: it’s gonna hit 85F-95F, and with the humidity factored in, it’ll feel like 113F.

F is right.

Like many places on earth, Québec is struggling to adapt to the many effects of climate disorder. Cities, food production, wildlife, hydro power generation–all hit hard, all sweating to seek a way forward. Extreme weather is now the norm, and the impacts (to paraphrase cyberpunk author William Gibson) are not evenly distributed.

Chez nous, we have a small mobile air conditioning unit–the wall air-conditioner, like many other appliances in this apartment, doesn’t work. It’s about radiator-size, looks like a household robot but not as cute, with the big hose you stick out the window after much fiddling with the chintzy plastic panels that are supposed to block the rest of the open window to prevent the heat getting in.

This little unit should be sufficient, if it has power. Montréal’s electrical grid needs upgrading–like most of the rest of its infrastructure–and it can be very unreliable in both hot and cold weather.

(To be fair, L.A. has a lot of power outages too, but they seem less frequent and don’t last for days, usually.)

Today has been a race against temps, both in the French and English senses. I did a couple errands by bike this morning while it was still cool (both unfortunately fruitless so I’ll have to venture out again tomorrow) and I’m doing the laundry and the cooking now too.

Am also hustling to complete any other chores that require 1) movement or 2) concentration before it heats up this afternoon.

This hot mess will be with us for 3-4 days. I’ll be staying inside and sticking as close to the cool air machine as I can. Overnight temps will also be high and thunderstorms are predicted, so spectacular sky shows will be casting a dismal strobe light on everyone’s prickly-heat misery.

And it’s not even officially summer yet.

Back to it. I should probably try to learn the French for “where is the nearest cooling center” and “I have sweat running into my socks.” Wish me luck.